I found this video a week or so ago, and it frustrates me on many accounts, and also brings up some contradictory ideals of the so called feminist movement.
my first frustration is that they have decided to call the 'damsel in distress' character a victimization of women because they guy has to come in and save her. WHAT? Last time i looked, victimization was when a woman was being abused by a man, or attacked by a man, not SAVED by one. Victimization incurs the idea of violence directed toward a woman, that is not the case in the damsel in distress character. The damsel in distress scenario is a character who is generally so highly regarded that the male character will do everything and anything in his power to save her, to get her back, and to protect her. There is nothing weak about the damsel in distress, but there is a strength and grace that draws the man to do the impossible and the ferociously dangerous just to get her back and keep her alive. Why would any woman in her right mind be angered by this kind of power over a man?
On the same topic, To honor a woman by fighting for her, has been a time honored tradition of chivalry, devotion, and honor. To take this act, and squash it as highly inappropriate and evil is to say that honorable men who respect their wives, girlfriends, sisters, etc are bad people who victimize the women in their lives. Can anyone else see how this could lend a hand in the many broken relationships and divorces we have in this world?
Regardless of what feminist agendas preach, I have never met a girl or woman who hasn't swooned over the White Knight who sweeps in and saves them at their lowest moment. Every female wants a guy who will fight with her, or for her, they want a guy they can feel safe with. If a guy is afraid to fight for her for the sake of victimizing her, the White Knight is knocked off his horse before he even has a chance.
On mixed messages to the Male characters in our lives. A few weeks ago, I was at a club with some girlfriends for a bachelorette party, At the club, i looked at all these women dancing, and grinding with this random group of guys who were 'dancing' with every solo girl in the club. Here, these women were willing to let guys hang on them, neck them, grind on them, just for a good time. It was repulsive. These women were allowing guys to disrespect them and treat them like meat, just so they could have a good time at the bar. That is sending a mixed message to men. We want you to respect us and treat us as equals, but by all means, get your sexual fantasy out on the dance floor with us for a couple hours. Again to prove my previous point of the White Knight, about half way through the night, we met a guy outside who joined our party, he danced WITH us, not ON us, and when the creeps who just wanted to hump your leg like little lost puppies came around he would pull you over and dance with you and get between you and the creeps. At the end of the night back at the hotel, HE was the guy we were all talking about, he was the guy the entire party thought was great, Creeepy leg humper guys, well, that's exactly what we thought of them, pigs with poor attitudes toward women, but seriously, how can we blame them for their bad behavior and view of women, when women go to the club and allow that behavior and willing join in it?
Ladies, don't be afraid of the guy who would give his life for you, this is not victimization, this is honor and respect, the two things every girl wants from her guy. Be wary of the man who treats you like a sex toy for the price of a rum and coke, If you want to find a target for your victimization argument and anger, direct it toward those guys. On behalf of every woman out there who wants a respectful guy to honor her dignity, please, i beg you, don't victimize the valiant men who still exist. Give Chivalry a chance!
Your thoughts?
1. The problem that this Feminist Frequency video was addressing was that woman are often ONLY relegated to the role of damsel in distress in video games. I think the very basic point she was trying to make is that it'd be nice if women had diverse roles in video games, as they do in real life. Sure, some women like to be put up on a pedestal like you describe, but others find that role to be a bit patronizing and infantilizing. It would be nice to see more and more representations of women taking charge of their lives in all form of media, including video games.
ReplyDelete2. You seem to fail to see the problems that tend to stem from treating women as sacred objects that need to be protected. Most problematic, that women are seen as OBJECTS and not individuals with agency and dreams and desires of their own. It's not that women don't want to be in relationships with men that care for them, it's that the rigid idea that there is only ONE way for a man to love a woman is very restricting, for both men and women. Not every girl wants a white knight to save her, and not every man wants to be a white knight. I know that I'd rather have a boyfriend who sees me as an equal, not as some precious thing that needs to be protected. In your response, you fail to realize that there are many different types of people in the world who want different things. It'a about having the choice and it's about having media representation of different choices, which helps society legitimize them.
3. Who are you to judge what those women at the club were doing? Maybe they wanted to have fun, maybe they even wanted to bring one of those guys home to have sex with, either way it's really none of your business and definitely not your place to judge them. How a women chooses to express her sexuality should have no impact on the level of respect that is shown to her.
4. I do agree with you that sometimes, in a club/bar setting, men can come on a little strong. I've had to say no to guys multiple times who've asked me to dance because they just would not listen to me when I said that I was not interested. I've had to pry my hand out of a guy's death grip as he was trying to make me dance with him. These were very uncomfortable situations for me. However, I would argue that there is a reason that men like that(or most men) don't know how to take "no" for an answer. It can be traced back to the idea that women are objects to be saved, won, and taken. To relate back to the Feminist Frequency video, if all women are "damsels in distress" who need a "white knight" to save them, then reason would follow that women cannot save themselves. I don't want to live in a world where me saying no to a man's advances is not a sufficient reason for him to leave me alone; where I need another "good" man's intervention to stop the situation. It'd be nice to not have to rely on a man to swoop in and save me, because God knows, that doesn't always happen. I'd just like my voice to be heard and I'd like the ability to save myself, should I need to.
I have no objection to women defending themselves, and i find them perfectly capable of doing so. I agree and am aware that there are different types of relationships, but it all comes down to mutual respect, as far as women still being treated as OBJECTS, don't women do the same thing to men when they go to a strip joint or they drool over the guys big arms or have posters of hot guys in bands or tv shows, when they talk about men like pieces of meat? You cannot treat men, whether those you know or those you don't, as eye candy without classifying yourself as an objectifier of men.
DeleteI am a woman, i have dreams and desires of my own, but because i'm not a super role in a video game or tv show or film, does not make them any less valid or true. The real women of significance were not film stars, video game characters or book characters, but real living people who did something with their lives. Do you think Rosa Parks would give a rats behind if she were a video game character? Do you think Marie Curie thought it was evil for her to not be the macho super hero? The real women of worth and those to look up to didn't care about the trival things such as their less important role in a video game. That is juevenille and naive. Focus on something that really matters.
personally, i find it strange that a woman would find being revered as infanticizing. There is nothing childish about a guy respecting a woman enough to die for her. If you think that is child-like, then maybe your childhood was much different then my own.
As far as guys in the club, go ahead and tell the guy no, but I can tell you, one of these particular guys, wouldn't go away, I elbowed him hard in the ribs multiple times and he wouldn't leave, so regardless of my own telling him to screw off, it was nice to have a little back up from a guy who didn't think i was a piece of meat.
My point about the club, was simply that women act in a manor and allow men to treat them in a manor that does not demand respect from a man. IF they are wiling to allow a man to treat them lie that, and not demand the decency and respect they deserve, they have no business complaining about not being respected in a superficial made up game world.